Temperature Conversion Chart

@ +70 degrees Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear. People in Syracuse go swimming in Oneida Lake.

@ +60 degrees North Carolinians try to turn on the heat. People in Syracuse plant gardens.

@ +50 degrees Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Syracuse sunbathe.

@ +40 degrees Italian & English cars won't start. People in Syracuse drive with the windows down.

@ +32 degrees Distilled water freezes. Oneida Lake water gets a little thicker.

@ +20 degrees Floridians put on coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats. People in Syracuse throw on a flannel shirt.

@ +15 degrees Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Syracuse have the last cookout before it gets cold.

@ +10 degrees People in Miami all die. Syracusans lick the flagpole.

@ 0 degrees Californian s fly away to Mexico. People in Syracuse get out their winter coats.

@ -10 degrees Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Syracuse are selling cookies door to door.

@ -25 degrees Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Syracuse Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

@ -30 degrees Mount St. Helen's freezes. People in Syracuse rent some videos.

@ -40 degrees Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Syracusans get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.

@ -45 degrees Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products. Cows in Onondaga County complain about farmers with cold hands.

@ -60 degrees ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale). People in Syracuse start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

@ -100 degrees Hell freezes over. The Syracuse Orange win the National Championship in Football!

Paul Touranjoe

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